Pokemon / Morons

The Revolution Era - Week Two: RAW

Week Two: RAW
RAW Commentary Team: Alex Riley, John “Bradshaw” Layfield, and Jerry “The King” Lawler
RAW General Manager: Vince McMahon

ALEX: And once again we are here for Monday Night RAW! I’m Alex Riley, here with JBL and the hall a famer Jerry “The King” Lawler.
JBL: We got one hell of a show tonight, promised by our CEO Vince McMahon himself.
KING: And we aren’t wasting any time tonight, starting off with our Tag Team champs in action!
ALEX: Ziggler once again trying his hand at this tag team division. This time he’s got The Miz with him. The two have been calling themselves The Show Stoppers all week long, news backstage is that the two are looking to make some big moves in the WWE.
JBL: Big moves right to the top. I wouldn’t put it past Ziggler or Miz to go gunning for Punk in the near future.
KING: It might take the two of them to take out the Best in the World at this point. Punk’s untouchable!

ALEX: Once again a very disappointing loss for Ziggler. You gotta feel for the guy, he just can’t get a break here.
KING: But what about The Miz? Taking that beating and still having to go on to face the likes of Cody Rhodes later tonight? Is it wise for him to even compete again?
JBL: Probably not. And SPEAKING OF RHODES!
ALEX: I heard backstage that our newest resident badboy, Corey Graves got into the face of Goldust earlier tonight.
JBL: The two were looking to go to blows in the locker room area when this kid came out of nowhere and took Graves out.
KING: TJ Perkins we’ve learned, and we have nothing on him. It’s like he’s a ghost. Doesn’t exist anywhere. Where’d he come from? Why’s he here?
ALEX: Who’s his trainer? Do you see that boy’s abdominal muscles?
JBL: Oh please. He’s photoshopped.
ALEX: Except he’s standing right in front of us.
(Triple Threat Match)

JBL: This kid, whoever he is, is obviously a high flyer. I haven’t seen moves like that since Jeff Hardy!
ALEX: Best watch it JBL, kid’s glaring at you.
KING: Probably doesn’t take too kindly to being compared to Jeff Hardy.
JBL: Well he probably also shouldn’t have stuck his nose into Graves’ business. It just got him destroyed!
ALEX: Something tells me we haven’t seen the last of this TJ Perkins kid.
JBL: Not even close to it. Now wait a minute here. I thought The Usos were back together again?
KING: They are, but Jimmy claimed to have some unfinished business with Drew McIntyre.
ALEX: Whatever it is, good luck to him.

JBL: Jimmy’s zero for two in singles competition. He should go back to the tag division. At least there he can say he was winning.
KING: The shocking part of this was Vince McMahon coming down to congratulate Drew. I knew he was The Chosen One, but what does this mean for the rest of the WWE Universe?
ALEX: Playing favorites never gets anyone anywhere.
JBL: Now this… This is interesting. The Miz is fighting the doctors backstage to allow him to compete!
KING: While we wait to see if The Miz can compete tonight, Cody Rhodes is making his way to the ring… OH MY GOD!
ALEX: And that right there folks is what makes The Miz dangerous. Everyone always counts him out, but you can’t. Ever.
JBL: Attacking Cody Rhodes from behind, it’s a typical Miz move, but Cody is not going to take that sitting down…
KING: This just keeps getting more and more confusing… Christian is now down here at ring side, and it’s looking like he’s come to help The Miz take out Cody…
ALEX: But no! Christian taking out frustrations on The Miz! But why? What’s going on in Christian’s head?
JBL: I don’t think ANYONE knows.

ALEX: Such a great match, despite the turns it took. Like that one… Miz proving to everyone that he’s as horrible now as he’s ever been.
KING: There was no need for that low blow. Cody was trying to prove that he’s honorable and Miz goes and does something like that.
JBL: Why are any of you even surprised? No one has honor anymore.
ALEX: Well we know one guy who does… He’s back!
KING: Oh yes he is! And listen to this crowd.
JBL: Back and down again! Brock Lesnar out of nowhere, taking John Cena out.
ALEX: So the rumors and whispers were true. Swagger did bring the Beast back!
KING: So what’s going to happen to our match now?
JBL: Mr. McMahon says it continues.
ALEX: Good luck Cena.
KING: I don’t know how Cena’s supposed to compete with the likes of Daniel Bryan after an attack like that…
(#1 Contender’s Match)

JBL: If I hadn’t seen it, I certainly wouldn’t have believed it! Daniel Bryan beat John Cena. Not only beat him, but made him tap out!
KING: OMG! John Cena just hit Daniel Bryan with a low blow… Of all people. I never in a million years would have seen that coming!
ALEX: I’m speechless here… What a way to end Monday Night Raw… I just…