Pokemon / Morons

The Revolution Era - Week Two: TOTAL DIVAS

TOTAL DIVAS Commentary Team: Jerry “The King” Lawler and Dixie Carter
TOTAL DIVAS General Manager: Sable

KING: And here we are ladies and gentlemen, back for another week! After last week, we can’t even begin to explain what’s going to happen tonight.
DIXIE: We can tell you that our main event tonight features the return of Degeneration X’s very own spitfire X-Pac!
KING: That might be a mistake Dix. He was always a little bit of a loose cannon. Not even Triple H could control him.
DIXIE: Well I’m sure Mr. McMahon knows what he’s doing resigning him.
KING: I sure hope you’re right with that.
DIXIE: First up tonight we have Kaitlyn, back in action in on WWE TV in some time.
KING: Against Rosa Mendes who also hasn’t been seen in the WWE in a while.
DIXIE: I guess we’ll find out if the time off these two ladies have had made them better, or worse.

KING: Not even five minutes into the match and our poor announce table…
DIXIE: They don’t make them like they used to I’m afraid.
KING: Rosa with that DDT through the table though, how did Kaitlyn ever manage to get up from that?
DIXIE: Us southern girls are built of stronger stuff, Jerry.
KING: Obviously as Kaitlyn walks away with the win tonight.
DIXIE: And on the ramp Kaitlyn is met by her friend AJ Lee.
KING: The Chickbusters back together again. Now that’ll bring a smile to anyone’s face.
DIXIE: Kaitlyn won tonight, but let’s see if AJ can overcome the odds here against Layla and Reby Sky.
KING: Reby Sky Hardy. That little lady is the new Mrs. Matt Hardy actually.
DIXIE: That she is.

(Triple Threat Match)

DIXIE: I don’t see how anyone can condone when it’s two on one! AJ was out numbered through the whole match.
KING: Layla though still proved that she’s the Diva to watch out for.
DIXIE: Easy for her to come out on top when Reby did all the work.
KING: Layla just wants back in the championship picture, but I’m afraid she’s just hit a brick wall.
DIXIE: Who’s name is Kharma. Layla didn’t stick around out here for long after she arrived, now did she? A little different when the woman is bigger than you.
KING: You’re stuck on that bully thing aren’t you?
DIXIE: I am. I don’t like bullies.
KING: Bet you hate looking in the mirror too.
DIXIE: What?


KING: And Beth Phoenix is not getting up. That slam by Kharma has taken out the Divas Champion.
DIXIE: We might need medical out to ring side. I don’t think Beth is getting up on her own.
KING: As the medical staff checks on our Divas champions we take a quick look at our next match.
DIXIE: Last week Jinder claimed the number one contendership for the television championship, while Bradshaw was defeated by the champ!
KING: If Jinder can win one tonight over Bradshaw that will put him right in league with Jimmy Jacobs himself.
DIXIE: Now I wouldn’t go that far with things Jerry. Jinder has a long ways to go before he can compete with our Zombie Princess.


KING: Not surprised by the sheer domination shown by Bradshaw here… and what is this?
DIXIE: Who is that?!
KING: That’s Faarooq. Bradshaw’s old tag team partner… but I thought he was retired?
DIXIE: In this era of WWE I don’t think you can count anyone as retired. Take the man heading to the ring right now.
KING: X-Pac I don’t think ever retired so much as everyone stopped caring.
DIXIE: Doesn’t seem as if the crowd cares now either.
KING: Not surprising. Also not surprising is the major reaction for Fandango!
DIXIE: I think I’m in love here Jerry.
KING: Sorry Dixie, you’re a bit old for me.
DIXIE: What?
KING: Nothing.


KING: A sad return… OMG!
KING: X-Pac showing his true colors and beating Fandango with that pipe. I just… I’m sickened.
DIXIE: Someone has to help him!
KING: This is not the way we should be ending this program… Unbelievable.