Pokemon / Morons

The Revolution Era - Week Two: SMACKDOWN

SMACKDOWN Commentary Team: Colt Cabana and Alex Riley
SMACKDOWN General Manager: Shane McMahon

COLT: Welcome peasants to the greatest show on WWE TV, Friday Night Smackdown! I’m Colt Cabana here with my new best friend Alex Riley.
ALEX: Have you fired Punk?
COLT: He doesn’t answer my texts anymore.
ALEX: So that’s a yes?
COLT: Or my phone calls.
ALEX: You know you got this look in your eyes…
COLT: Or my e-mails.
ALEX: I’m begging you to be kidding right now.
COLT: Antonio Cesaro, I was one of the unlucky ones to know him in his days at Ring of Honor. Unlucky in that I was never good enough by Nigel McGuiness’s standers to get in the ring with him.
ALEX: Oh goodie a subject change.
COLT: What do you mean?
ALEX: Nothing.
COLT: While Alex gets himself back in order..
ALEX: I wasn’t the one OUT of order you…
COLT: I’m trying to do my job here. Wow.
ALEX: Oh forget it. Today we see the return of Val Venis and Chainsaw Charlie. Two legends of the WWE and gonna be challenges for Cesaro.
COLT: I think he can take them.
ALEX: Well no one really asked you.

(Triple Threat Match)

COLT: I don’t think Val realized the type of match this would turn into.
ALEX: Yet with Cesaro and Charlie focusing on each other, Val could have gotten out of this clean.
COLT: Not with the way Charlie rolls. Val got it just as bad as Cesaro did.
ALEX: And Charlie comes out on top. The old guy’s still got it!


COLT: What was that?
ALEX: Sandow getting his brains beat it.
COLT: I don’t think I’ve seen a quicker match. Ever.
ALEX: Sandow apparently called Tensai a big oaf backstage earlier tonight, hence the anger in Tensai now.
COLT: And with that over we continue our night with our tag team division.
ALEX: The return of the WWE’s  high flying duo in Rey Mysterio and Evan Bourne!
COLT: Medical staff are standing by it seems just in case Rey breaks his hip.
ALEX: I believe you stole that from our Impact team.
COLT: I might have.


COLT: And here we thought it’d be Rey who needed the medical help.
ALEX: Evan Bourne going head first into the barricade, and he was just unable to get back into the ring.
COLT: Rey’s helping him to the back, that’s very nice of him.
ALEX: I don’t think that’s the last we’ve seen of Evan Bourne, but if it was: Thanks for coming out.
COLT: Nice accent there.
ALEX: Thanks I’ve been practicing.
COLT: Our #1 Contender’s match tonight, made for our by Shane McMahon himself… he said he wanted to test out Otunga..
ALEX: Test him or kill him!?
COLT: The World’s Most Dangerous man is back… Can I quit now or should I give my two weeks.
ALEX: If I were Otunga, I’d be turning in my resignation right now.

(#1 Contender’s Match | Falls Count Anywhere Match)

COLT: I am completely confused. Did David Otunga just beat Ken Shamrock?
ALEX: I feel like we’re in the Twilight Zone here.
COLT: Speaking of Twilight Zone… Can this next match even happen?
ALEX: Apparently we’re going to find out.

(Triple Threat Match)

COLT: I seen it with my own eyes, but I still don’t even know what I just watched.
ALEX: Neither does Del Rio as he’s still sitting in the ring scratching his head.
COLT: Mick Foley has lost what little mind he had left. Fighting himself? Throwing himself through the barricade, and even tossing himself off the top rope? Seriously how is this guy not been committed yet?
ALEX: I don’t know but we need to… go or something.
COLT: Next week on Smackdown… something that makes sense!
ALEX: Here’s hoping.